The Incident That Changed Everything

In January 2013, a snowy night combined with a bit too much alcohol led to a life-altering fall. The surgery that followed to repair my damaged knee was supposed to fix everything. Instead, it marked the beginning of my journey with chronic pain. The aftermath of this accident left me with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), a condition where my nervous system misfires, sending constant pain signals to my brain. This results in extreme sensitivity, swelling, changes in colour and temperature, and movement issues. Additionally, I deal with fatigue and brain fog on a daily basis.

The Impact on My Life and Family

The consequences of that fall were not just physical; they transformed every aspect of my life. My independence has been severely affected as I now rely on various aids to walk, shower, get up from the sofa, or climb stairs in our three-story house. Driving, once a simple task, has become a challenge.

This shift extended to my family life. My husband transitioned into a caregiver role, and our relationship had to adapt to this new dynamic. My children, particularly during their critical teenage years, faced the reality of having a mum who was often absent due to hospital stays and doctor appointments. Although they are now adults and have moved out, they still feel a sense of responsibility towards me, which has its own emotional complexities.

Embracing a New Normal

Despite the dramatic changes, my story is not one of despair. Life, though altered, has found new rhythms and sources of fulfilment. Volunteering at my local hospital and managing an online mental health forum have become rewarding ways to contribute to my community and stay engaged. I am also pursuing a BA (Hons) in Health and Social Care, a journey that I find intellectually and personally enriching.

I have developed supportive friendships and am surrounded by a wonderful, close-knit family. These relationships are the pillars that hold me up, allowing me to navigate the challenges of living with chronic pain.

Finding Success in Adjustment

Living with chronic pain can easily become an all-consuming experience. It’s easy to let it dominate your life and the lives of those around you. However, my approach to living with chronic pain has been to adjust my expectations. As Theodore Roosevelt wisely said, “Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.” I may not reach for the stars as I once dreamed, but I can still look at them with hope and determination.

In 2019, I attended a four-week residential pain management course in Bath. This course, which combined psychological techniques with some physical exercise, was transformative. The instructors used the analogy of driving a bus filled with negative emotions (pain, fear, worry about the future, and loss of confidence) all shouting at once. I had the choice to let them take control or to set them aside and focus on building a fulfilling life.

Choosing to Thrive

I chose to take control. This decision hasn’t made the journey easy, nor has it “fixed” the pain. There are still days of struggle and moments where the pain seems overwhelming. But the choice to live a good life despite these challenges is a powerful one. I am no longer ruled by my condition; instead, I am the one in charge.

My experience with chronic pain is a testament to resilience and the human spirit’s ability to adapt. While I may not reach for the stars in the traditional sense, my dreams and ambitions remain vibrant. Chronic pain doesn’t have to define me; I define how I live with it. And for that, I am incredibly proud.